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Hmm. I just had quite a fight with Julian (aka Jusa, Jussi, Justus, Juffe - you name it). We haven't met for a while and now he's complaining we don't see each other often enough. Right. I just met him on Monday (well, that was pretty short cause I wanted to see Ilona:D, I admit), and on weekend. A friend of mine told me we sounded like a married couple in their early 40's. I guess that was not really a compliment. Jussiboy fucking makes me craaaazy. And I know exactly who he reminds me of.
His new girlfriend is pretty weird too, she's got my number and she's sent me about 10249 messages telling me she wants to meet me and get to know Jln's friends. Alright, well, ehm, let's see.

I started thinking how nice it is to live in Helsinki. Helsinki is cool, actually. You usually don't think about it but when you're gone for a while you notice what this all means to you. I just love it here. This city is pretty dead and still full of life, you just have to find it and know where to look for it. I love and I hate the mentality of the people here. They can be rude bastards but they can also be great in a way I can't even explain. I love watching the sunrise over the city when I sit in the metro on Itäväylä. I love sitting in the sun and watching the sea, and the salty water smells so good. I love sitting at Espa with my friends and seeing everybody's having a good time. I love taking a walk at night in July - or actually I'd even like that in January.
I'm usually much more awake in the nighttime. If I got to choose I'd sleep all day and wake up in the evening and then go to school at night. But maybe I feel this way now only cause I'm not able to do that and that's why it makes it all seem much more interesting and kind of tempting to me. I'd probably just be do damn depressed cause it'd be so dark outside all the time. :D But honestly. No wonder I'm always tired, waking up at 6 every morning is so cruel and it just sucks. Today I'm going to bed at 9 o'clock (haha yeah right, like I'd make it!).

I also met Maija today. By accident. It was weird. I had no idea what to say to her, we hadn't seen for such a long time. She sounded so tired and so sad and it all made me feel bad. She doesn't know I know what she's been trough lately. So we talked a little, I was confused the whole time and then I had to run home cause I reaaally had to pee. :DD What a great conversation that was. Hope I won't have to meet her again. Or maybe I should find a way to get to know her once again, even just a little, but it just feels so hard so I'd rather just not see her again to avoid those embarrassing situations.

Gottagonow, we're eating dinner or something and I gotta clean up the kitchen.

I just came back from Munkkivuori and I'm soooo tired. I've been tired for a couple of days already and it doesn't go away cause I never manage to get enough sleep. I'm such a piece of shit. These last few years ... seems like I've forgotten when's the right time to go to bed, I'm killing myself if I go on like this.

Today there was this YFU-evening for the parents whose children are now abroad as exchange students. Some of those parents were really annoying, they just kept on complaining and they didn't listen to what we said to them. We also never got to discuss some really important topics we had planned for the evening cause these assholes took all our time with their stupid questions. People say there are no stupid questions - well, I disagree, there are so many stupid questions people can ask. I usually ask many stupid questions. Anyway, we pretty much just stood there, in front of those parents (they were about 100). I got to say something two times, Paula, Jasmiini, Sini and I had nothing to do and nothing to say. I didn't even dare to open my mouth cause I knew I would have said something really impolite. So Kaisa spoke the most of the time and tried to be polite to those assholes. And I even canceled that fucking piano lesson for this.

Now I'm just frustrated and tired and so pissed off. I couldn't stand the way they just complained about everything that had something to do with the things YFU has done, and everybody disliked YFU Chile. They wondered why YFU Finland doesn't have contact with those area representatives the exchange students have in their host countries. How could YFU Finland stay in contact with those hundreds of area representatives? I don't wanna be rude, but honestly. Come on. Like they had nothing else to do.

I don't really know why but I always take it personally when someone says something bad about YFU. I guess it's all quite important to me. Just received an e-mail from Kaisa, it really made me smile.
I also received one from Annika. <3 :D Actually I've received so damn many mails lately and I should answer them. Maybe tomorrow.

Arrgh I'll do everything tomorrow, just not tonight. I thought I could visit a German class tomorrow so I could get my essay back. The teacher wanted to copy it for something, dunno. She's really nice but her classes are boring, that's why I don't go there. Maybe German classes are just meant to be boring, it's just their destiny. :D Too bad.
I always feel bad when I see my classmates go to the German class and I'm on my way home. I feel like I should be there, too.

A dance class wouldn't be bad now. I could go dancing after school tomorrow since I got no other plans, if there only is a dance class in the schedule for Wednesday. I hope I promised to meet Ilona and Maria on Thursday, not on Friday. Iaiks. Why do I always forget everything. There was something else on Thursday, too. At least I think so.

Blah. I'm messed up as usual.

Wow. It's been quite a nolife-day. I've watched about 23030597 movies today (all of them were ... well, not that good), I just sat home all day. :D I went out of the house two times; I had to clean up our neighbours backyard (they're trying to sell their house and the backyard's got to be clean) and I returned those films I borrowed from Filmtown yesterday.

This whole weekend was so weird I think I'm kind of glad it's over. Mom and dad are coming tonight, they were in Dublin, and my sister's gonna stay here in Helsinki the whole week. She just started to study in Tampere and usually she spends all her weekends here. And my brother's turning 15 on Tuesday.

So yesterday evening was pretty bad. The whole evening sucked. Really. Of course I was really happy to see my friends and stuff (I met Noora, Jenni, Joonas, Mila, Iina, Anna and some others), we usually have fun whereever we are, but we actually just ran from a place to another.
First we wanted to check whether there's something going on in Ankkis (of course not, it was so fucking cold - I didn't even get it before I went out of the house), then we were supposed to go to our place and watch a movie. Well, somehow we ended up at Manu's place in Punavuori. Suddendly some people I didn't even know (some of them are in our school, that's all I know about them) came with us to Manu but they left after 15 minutes or something cause they heard there was some sort of party in Vuosaari. Well, there we were and I felt like I have to get out of that appartment. I felt ill and had promised to be home early so I left about half past 10pm. We all left and went home. On my way home I borrowed two movies and watched the other one yesterday. Man I wouldn't do that again.
And we had some problems with Nooras phone number - once again.. :D Yay.

Some guy called Sam came to me in the underground today and started chatting. He told me he was from Ghana and loves cooking and he loves my style and blahblah and I should go over to his place tomorrow or some day so he could cook me some African food. Yeah right. And now I got his phone number and everything. Disgusting. :D I mean he was really nice and everything, but still, I'm not that stupid I'd really call him or meet him again.

I really wonder what those people think (by that, I meant people who do that kind of things, in general, not "foreigners"). I mean his culture is different, I know, but he told me he's been here for 7 years now and I just wonder how is it possible he hasn't noticed that the Finnish people are not really familiar and/or comfortable with that kind of behaviour? I got nothing against foreigners but sometimes they just scare the shit out of me. Or they don't really scare me but I just don't always know how to react to what they may say.
I know it's just different from what we're used to, that's one of the lessons I learned during the time I spent in Germany - I was something like a foreigner there, too. But how come don't those foreigners notice when people around them get confused when they do something the people are not used to? Maybe they think those people around them are just weird and maybe they don't think it's confusion. I don't know. A classmate of mine is about the same, she doesn't seem to notice everyone else thinks she's ... well. Stupid. I don't mean to be nasty but I kind of dislike stupid people, simple people. I can't stand the stupid things she says. And she thinks she's so cool. Sometimes I feel like I could just punch her in the face and she'd really deserve it. Well, no one deserves it. That's why I don't punch anyone in the face even if I wanted to.

So I better go to bed now. I wanted to take a walk before the school starts so I'll have to wake up way too early. And it's way too late now. This is so typical of me.

I'll have to go and buy my brother a present tomorrow (together with my sister) and I'll have to go looking for this video-thing you can put a ... er, whatever. A thing you can watch your own films with if you don't have the camera.
I really need to see the stuff we filmed in Austria in April. I was in Austria with Nanti, it was the best trip ever. And I miss Nanti like hell, she's in New Zealand now - luckily she's coming back in January and we're gonna take Simon with us and go to Austria to meet the guys from that snowboard shop Hotzone, they are awesome people (http://www.hot-zone.tv/) - I can't wait, hope it's gonna be as cool as it was the last time. Still, I won't see her in November. Nanti is really someone you can do anything with, her ideas are always as crazy as mine. Like snowboarding in bikinis and running away to Hamburg (the party in Hamburg was the best one I've ever been to, the club was awesome). We almost ran away to Holland to see Simon cause he was there on a school trip but we didn't have enough money. :D

Mmmm Ilona just came back from Germany! I'm curious to hear what it was like to be there.

Oh maaaan, I got Biology and ET (something like ethics or "Werte und Normen" in Germany) tomorrow. I'm gonna skip Spanish. It's a bad idea to skip school but at the moment I just.. I don't know. I just can't concentrate on school right now. The weird thing is, I skip Spanish and it's the only subject of the three I mentioned above that I really like. I mean I do like biology but I don't like the teacher and it makes those lessons a hell. And the ET doesn't like me - okay, I don't like her either.

Didii now I really need to get some sleep.